Day 1-
The first day is always torture for me.
Wow here i am my second MC since February. In this new cleanse-when I blog I'll be talking about my emotions more- i think it plays a big part in my success and failure in this::
Day One-- i couldnt do SWF because i was at work early,,Was at work all day, wasnt so bad until I left work. I have cravings really bad..Ice cream, sweets, etc.. My biggest downfall is at night, I stay up very late doing projects for work, at around 1 am ill start eating sweets.. So im a little scared about it.
I drank almost all my juice already-might make another batch.. I had some peppermeint tea-that held me over.
Im just going to have to do this and get through the day, if i eat, i know im going to feel so depressed..
The weather is so nice out, its in the 60s. i keep my trenchcoat on cause im so uncomfortable showing my body..... I weigh 146 now... last summer i was about the same,, ive always been about 120. I cant go through another summer wearing a size 10-baggy black pants and fat jeans and long babydoll shirts to cover my tummy and hips.
I feel so low on myself and unattractive, im 5'5, I know it isnt that bad 146 but compared to being 120 all your life it is really bad.
The lowest I ever weighed was 110 back in 2003- i can tell you it was the best i ever felt and looked. People were so jealous of me they couldnt even compliment-those same people tell me now, "wow you look so much more healthy"
Alot of my weight gain has to do with a bad break-up I had also the stresses of my new job, i dont have time for much except going to work -coming home, staying up till 3 am working on projects-waking up at 7am-going to work--the weekends i mostly sleep--
I'm going to have to do this just for the sake of my happiness. I hope i really stick with this, this time..
Also after I reach my goal of 120, im going to have to come up with a lifetime plan to stick with.. I cant go back to just eating small portions without a real plan..
I guess your 30s really catch up to you,
If and when I get to 120 lbs, Im going to have to do something special for myself... Maybe a spa day.
UPDATE 3AM-- i was good but then got VERY intense cravings gave in and had two tablespoons of barbeque sauce.. Not awful but still, it shows i couldnt stick to the plan,,,---try harder tomorrow
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2 comments:
Hey its Chante from the message boards.
Congrats on finishing day 1 (even if you had to cheat a little)
I was going to write that you shouldn't worry so much about your weight and that I'm sure you look fine but I know exactly how you feel. I'm 5'4" and I was always petite. My weight never went above 125. I had many of the older women at my job so jealous of me also. All of that changed when I got pregnant. I gained about 60 pounds and I've been carrying it around with me ever since. I was in denial for a long time. buying clothes that was too small for me but it finally hit me when I tried on a size 14 pair of pants and they fit.
Although I would love it if I could go back to a size 4, I know that its not going to happen for me anytime soon. I just want to be able to go shopping and find clothes in my size and not worry about if my gut is poking out too much. I just want to feel comfortable with what I'm wearing.
I wish you all the luck with this cleanse and I hope you get the results you want :-)
Thanks Chante, Yea I know i shouldnt worry so much about my weight, I think alot of it has to do with when i was in grade school i was a little chubby and got made fun of, by junior high i grew and lost my weight--i never wanted to feel like that again.
I was in denial too, buying small clothes or trying to fit into old ones.
Good luck to you too. hope we get through this.
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